Moved back to the condo and spent the first week without internet thanks to a scheduling error with Time Warner on my part. (How frustrating. It was my own fault and so I was robbed even of indignation and the right to complain...) But, I'm back now!
I do have a longer post fermenting, with pictures and rambles and everything, but right now I just wanted to stop and notice how long its been since things like going grocery shopping and making lunch have made me happy. I just got back from the grocery store, and I am so, SO happy.
The home we found for my MiL is very different from the facility she had to move into when the doctors first confirmed that she could no longer live on her own. There are only 6 families, and last week the director scheduled a kind of board meeting of primary care givers, just to talk about how things are going, what concerns people have, and perhaps most importantly, what wisdom families of seasoned residents can offer to new families like myself and J. (Yeah, Corporate Nursing Home NEVER had anything like that, and anyway, the residents and staff turned over so quickly, it doesn't seem like there would have been a point.)
A refrain that came up over and over again was how hard it is to let go. How hard it is to 'leave them there.'
Maybe because we've experienced a very different, much less ideal assisted living situation, maybe because K is my partner's mother and not my own, maybe just because I was so, so tired... I haven't found it hard at all.
J has expressed similar thoughts, although in his mind they may be related to the fact that he is a Son and not a Daughter. Everyone else at the caregiver's meeting was a Daughter.
Regardless, I am coming back to simple things like putting together a small salad for lunch with new appreciation. I don't know if I should feel guilty for feeling so relieved, but I do feel SO relieved.